


Star Spangled Fourth

by katkrap



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Fourth of July, Independence, Independence Day - Freeform, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:16:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katkrap/pseuds/katkrap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve walks in on the gang going through the old propaganda flicks.  And learning the songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Star Spangled Fourth

Steve had managed to loop six bags of groceries onto each arm and carried two gallons of milk in each hand.  Still, the plastic was uncomfortable and the help Tony had promised him would be waiting at the front gate had not, in fact, been waiting.  And to top it all off, the elevator wasn’t working.  He wasn’t sure if it was because he was using the toe of his boot or if it was just that irritable.  Either way, he took the stairs two at a time until he reached the level designated as the common area for the team.  He walked directly to the kitchen and set down the bags.  He could hear the television playing in the other room, so he raised his voice.

“Alright, guys!  I got everything on the list, _and_ brought it up.  I think you guys can muster up enough energy to help me put things away, right?  Guys?”

No one was responding.

He sighed and started toward the dining room.  “Guys, I’m serious.  I really need you to…”  His jaw dropped as he entered the living room.  All the others were gathered in front of the television, watching what could not possible be…

“Hey!” Tony said, throwing his hands in the air and waving two miniature American flags.  “It’s the Star Spangled Man with a plan!”

Clint was already off the sofa.  “Did you get ice cream?” he asked, practically sprinting to the kitchen.  His voice trailed off as he walked down the hallway.  “And not that vanilla crap, I’m talking with the chunks of nuts and waffle cone, ooh, or toffee.  Marshmallows. Gummy bears?  Yes to all!”

Steve barely gave Clint a passing glance as he looked back to the television, pointing.  “Where did you get this?”

“Are you kidding?” Tony chuckled.  “Dad raised me on this sh…” At the look Steve was giving him, he quickly amended, “your old flicks.”

“Why the heck are we watching them?” Steve asked.

Tony shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth and handed the tub to Bruce who explained, “Fourth of July.”

Steve shook his head.  “That’s not until tomorrow.”

“I know,” Tony said, swallowing the popcorn and smiling at Steve.  “I wanted to make sure we all have the song memorized.”

“What song?”

From the kitchen came Clint’s voice.  “ _Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?”_

Steve’s eyes went wide.  “No.”

Tony beamed.  “Oh yes.  Oh hey!  One of my favorites!  Watch, there’s this bit where his cap-cowl-thingie get all turned around—”

 “Rocky road,” Clint said, walking past Steve and holding his bowl in front of the Captain’s face.  “I give you a 8 on shopping skills, Cap.  Better luck next time.”  He flopped down next to Natasha.  “What’d I miss?”

“Fake beach-storming,” Tony said, looking at Steve with big eyes.  “Very moving.  Very patriotic.”

Steve felt his irritation rising.  “ _Tony_ …”

“I’d buy bonds from you, Steve,” Bruce piped up from his bean bag.

“Me too,” Natasha said.

Clint shrugged.  “Bonds, yes.  Ice cream, no.”

Steve looked at Tony.  When he said nothing, Steve raised an eyebrow.

Tony held up both hands.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  Is my dad turning you into Captain Super-Awesome not good enough, I’ve got to buy bonds, too?  _Pass_.”  He clicked his tongue.  “Besides.  I never buy anything from a man wearing one article of American-print clothing; boxers excluded.  They end up being super… cheesy.  And, uh… cap?  Without bringing Coulson’s adorable little fashion _faux pas_ into this, I’m pretty sure you bleed American print.  You slash your wrist, it’s like white and red and blue ribbons.  And stars—”

“Tony—”

“And don’t try to tell me your boxers aren’t American-print,” he said, giving him a look.  “I _know_ they are.”

Steve held his gaze as long as he could, then turned his eyes to the ground.  “You know, those shows sold a lot of bonds and did a lot of good for a lot of guys overseas and those girls?  So sweet.  So talented, and you’re making fun of their work.”

Tony shook his head.  “No we’re not.  We’re _replicating_ it.  Big difference.”

Bruce looked up from the popcorn.  “We’re replic… we’re not going to have to wear little dresses are we?  B-because I don’t think anyone wants that.”

Clint’s hand went up.  “I think Natasha sh— _ow!”_

Natasha released Clint’s nipple she’d just pinched and turned and muttered something angry at him in Russian.

“Dresses are optional,” Tony said.  “And unavailable because I am not supplying them.  Some things in life are hilarious.  Me in fishnets is not one of those things.”

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle.  “Uh, not sure about that, Tony.  I think that would be pretty funny.”

Tony snorted, pouring himself another drink.  “Play your cards right, Cap.  Anything could happen tomorrow night.”

Steve went bright red, suddenly grateful for the dark room.  “Oh, that’s…  okay, um…”  He looked around.  “Guys, where’s Thor?”

“Upstairs,” Tony said.  “I brought out a stack of the old pulp comics.”  He smirked.  “He thinks he’s reading the… how did he put it—?”

Bruce smiled.  “He said he was going to educate himself with the pictorial chronicles of your exploits.”

Steve looked from Bruce to Tony.  “Tell me you didn’t tell him they were real stories.”

Tony feigned a wounded expression. “Me?  Lead someone to believe something that is in no way, shape or form true?  I’m aghast, Steve—”

“Tony—”

“ _A. **GHAST**.”_

“CAPTAIN!”

Steve was roughly turned round to face the Norse God, who then shook him.  “Come, you must tell me of your battles with the Reich which was numbered third and the beast with innumerable heads!”

Steve cast a glance back at Tony.  “The what?”

“Hitler and Hydra,” Tony said.  “Have fun, kids.  Don’t stay up late.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.  It’s a short list.”  He gave Steve a wink.

Steve shook his head, chuckling.  “You and I are going to have a talk about this later.”

“Sorry, honey,” Tony said, grabbing the remote and turning up the volume to full blast.  “I can’t hear you over _the sound of FREEDOM!!”_

 


End file.
